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Duck of Theseus: The Ancient Sophistry of 'Gender Identity' Gibberish
Stop the Presses - 12 September 2022
It is always too easy to dunk on Katy Montgomerie, who loves the attention anyway, so we usually ignore him here. But we are making an exception at The Distance just this once to point out this exquisite masterpiece. Just perfect. Bravo. Well done.
Philosophers have used the “Ship of Theseus” question to debate ideas for 2,500 years. Now we have the “Duck of Theseus” question to debate ideas for the next epoch of humanity. The stupid one.
A “Ship of Theseus” is a watercraft renovated over time so that no original part of the ship remains. Or think of a musical band that has none of the original members left in the concert lineup. Is it really the same ship/band, or is it really a whole new ship/band? See, that’s not such a simple question to answer, now, is it? Checkmate, gender criticals!
Restating Monty: if, through some means indistinguishable from magic, I was to transform my body into that of a duck, would my mind still be me, inside of the duck?
How would my self-cognition — that is, my awareness of myself and my own existence in my world — integrate with the very different sensory inputs a duck has, and the very different brainstem of a duck?
The only logical answer is also magic. If the “real me” is a free-floating soul-thingy, or body thetan of some kind, that contains duck-essence and was assigned to this particular fleshbag at birth, then this “me” can be surgically and chemically and legally reassigned to transduck status.
In fact, I shall require a disability status and special provisions because I am unable to swim or fly like a duck. But I can quack like a duck. Quack! See?
Or I can just transmigrate and identify as a duck without changing my body at all, since I clearly have the inner being-ness of a duck. If I talk like a duck and walk like a duck and flap my prosthetic wings and paddle around the pond like a duck in an inner tube and scuba fins, I must really be a duck on the inside. Right?
I am a trans duck. I am living my best life as a duck. Quack.
Moreover, this process should begin as soon as it emerges in childhood, because if I, an adult trans duck, exist, then surely trans duck babies exist, too. Yes, toddlers who take to swimming are probably trans-ducks in need of species-affirming hormones and surgeries. At the very least, they deserve social transition, if necessary without telling their parents, who will just try to convince the child they are a human.
What kind of physicians would participate in this travesty? Quack. What kind of teaching staff? Quack quack. What kind of politicans? Quack quack quack.
Whole laws will have to be re-written, and sanctuary states declared, to protect the trans duck children from the harmful transphobia of a hostile world where shows like “Duck Dynasty” are allowed to openly promote genocide of the trans duck community.
Yes, this was exactly the thought experiment we all needed to conduct. Well done, Katy. Well done. You are a true doctor of philosophy. Quack.
THE NEWS IS KILLING US: “Problematic news consumption” through online portals and platforms is a genuine mental health hazard. Our desire for the best information is leading us to information overload.
With regard to preoccupation, being absorbed in the narrative world may continue even after news consumption ends. Sometimes referred to as salience, preoccupation occurs when an activity dominates an individual’s thoughts. Preoccupation has frequently been applied to the context of problematic media behavior. For example, problematic Internet use has been described as entailing constantly thinking and daydreaming about online activities, eagerly anticipating the next encounter.
MERMAIDS IS A HOMOPHOBIC HATE GROUP: And so is the Good Law Project, for bringing their case against the LGB Alliance’s charity status. A witness for the world’s premiere “trans kids” charity, the one that politicians and movie stars and coffee chains all endorse, has admitted in a British courtroom that the organization considers sex attraction, same or opposite, to be transphobia. Remember, they wanted to have this trial and cross-examination. They chose this. They had to know they would be asked.


AMERICAN SCHOOLS IN CULT CAPTURE: It’s not just the Libs of TikTok. According to a new report from Women’s Declaration USA, American public education is riddled with harmful gender gibberish.
Children are inundated by gender identity ideology from all sides, over and over again, as though “gender identity” were real, and as though it is more important than the material reality of biological sex.
LEGAL DRAMA: Theater professor Richard Bugg is suing Southern Utah University for sexual harassment after he was disciplined for refusing to play pronoun games.
According to the lawsuit, he holds that to accommodate the student's demand would force him to convey views on "human nature, social dynamics, gender identity and its impact upon the English language" opposed to his political beliefs. Mr Bugg concludes these ideas would also go against the educational objectives of "promoting clarity of expression" and "providing students with the best chance for success once out in the real world."
MEET THE NEW MISOGYNY, SAME AS THE OLD MISOGYNY: Angry men at a campus in Mexico seem to have the administration’s blessing to harass women, deface their single-sex spaces, and otherwise act like bog-standard abusive men who can’t take “no” for an answer as long as they wear lipstick. Progressive!


DANCE MONKEY, DANCE: This review of The Ape That Understood The Universe, a new book by evolutionary psychologist Steve Stewart-Williams, explains the “monkey dance” of inter-male aggression as a product of human sexual dimorphism. The whole concept of a “fair fight” that seems universal to all human cultures is in fact a product of our human evolution.
Suppose you see two guys in the early stages of a monkey dance and suddenly one of them kicks in the other in the balls and breaks a bottle over his head. In that case, you might think he is crazier than the other guy, but you don’t have reliable information about his physical formidability.
This is in part why young men don’t engage in the monkey dance with the elderly, children, women, and so on. Entering into conflicts with such people would not provide any useful information about the man’s fighting ability.
Compared with “rapid escalation” conflicts, people deem “slow escalation” as more reliable with regard to revealing how tough a guy is.
LIA THOMAS IS A MAN: Public comments on proposed changes to Title IX are now closed. As we wait for the Biden administration to justify letting men cheat at sports and forcing college women to participate in their sexual fetishes, we have very few press outlets standing up for reality. The Ohio Press Network is one:
Women have been silenced into accepting biological males on their teams, in their locker rooms, and on the scoreboards. Lia Thomas, a trans-identified male at the University of Pennsylvania, smashed women’s swimming records while Thomas’ teammates could only complain anonymously, in fear of disciplinary actions that could have led to the loss of scholarships and expulsion from the team. Thomas’ teammates were subjected to his visible penis in the women’s dressing room. Prior to Penn’s inclusivity policy, which models Biden’s proposed regulations, this would have been considered sexual harassment, but the women on Thomas’s team lost the ability to bring a claim against Thomas. In fact, Thomas can file a sex-based harassment grievance against any female who makes him feel unwelcome in a female-space! This situation is emblematic of a predicament to which all females in any institution receiving any amount of federal funding could be subjected if the changes to Title IX are enacted.
Gays Against Grooming New York take the prize for bext comment we’ve read so far.
In the proposed Title IX changes, replacing “sex” with “gender” means that LGB is conflated with TQIA+. Without a proper definition of “sex,” meaning male and female, the rights which protect heterosexual and homosexual people will no longer mean anything.


MAKING LESBIANS AFRAID AGAIN: GetTheLOut, an organization raising awareness of the sexual pressure that lesbians recieve from men claiming “gender identities,” cannot gather anywhere without a nasty crowd of angry men and handmaidens to shout at them. Oh well! In that case, they might as well keep on disrupting Pride parades.


WATCH OUT FOR THAT LEDGE: Situational awareness is crucial to survival!